If I reflect too much upon this I might begin to doubt myself and by nature I'm just too lazy to go to the effort of doubting myself. Too hard...better to just accept and roll on...

So here's my belief at the moment - my day's are so much happier when I don't place too many expectations upon myself. I am more relaxed, my kids less cranky and the day just a whole lot smoother when we're responsive rather than super active. Is that terrible? Of course I know that there always needs to be balance in life and I do try hard to 'get things done;' write letters, plant a garden, keep my house relatively clean, the laundry hampers relatively empty. But on the whole, when I set myself a long To-Do list for the day, I will inevitably greet Mountain Dad with snappy-grouchy face on his return from work. Just letting the day happen allows for a lot more laughter. And a lot less productivity.

The question now is to find that balance of still pursuing projects, not just the essential ones of dishes, laundry, dinner; but those that fill my creative cup as well. Writing, taking photo's, orgainising photo's. I want to do all those things but not always be saying to my Mountain Kids,

"I'll just finish the dishes....Just let me sweep the floor first...Can Mummy make a coffee first and then come and play?"

Yesterday we were rolling around on the floor in a patch of sunlight and it was so lovely to allow the moment to happen. I had underlying thoughts of, must get dishes done, must get dinner ready...but it was too fun to leave them. Even despite all the snot that was part of the frolicking.

And so I strive to find the balance between practical productivity and parenting productivity. And I love those days when I don't ask too much of myself and just enjoy my children, the sun drenched backyard and whatever the situation asks of us at the time.


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