Life as we know it

I'm back at work four days a week now and wondering about the wisdom of my decision. My Doctor has definitely been reluctant to support my desire to go back to work so soon after treatment, but I have been persuasive. I get such a lot of goodness out of work; feelings of value, competency, normality. To be honest, three days a week was perfect but sooner or later I need to increase. I just have that Sunday-afternoon-turning-my-mind-to-the-week-ahead feeling that I haven't had for a while. I've really enjoyed the last year for the flexibility of time, that no work avails. However, I like my job, I love my colleagues and I appreciate the feeling that we're raising our eyes from focusing on the next treatment and how it will impact my body.

I've started a practice of doing daily yoga, waking up a bit earlier each morning so I can get a half hour of stretching in. On the recommendation of a friend, I've connected with a YouTube yoga channel called Yoga with Adriene and I quite love it. In fact, I quite fancy Adriene. She's a cute, charming and gentle teacher from Texas and she reminds me of the holistic nature of yoga. That it's not just about stretching and getting stronger, but connecting our breath to our body. Our minds to our breath. One morning a few weeks ago, as I bent and stretched by the fire in the quiet of the house in the early morning, Adriene encouraged me to be present in the moment. Let the day fall away, the to-do lists and chatter of my mind be still for a moment and appreciate this time, this moment for myself.

"Mama?" Lox was right by my ear, startling me, "Mama - that's cowww. We do dat at Widdle Wonders. See, I'w show you."

And he did, cosy-ing up by my side to demonstrate his version of the yoga that Adriene was guiding me through.

Moments later, Adelaide joined us, perching herself by the laptop and taking on a supervisory role, pausing the video when she felt I was falling behind the instructions or correcting my technique if it looked a bit off. My flow was definitely interrupted.

And then, while stretching back to a downward dog, Mountain Dad joined the party and gave me a jovial bum hump as he passed by the lounge on the way to the kitchen and his morning coffee.

I give credit to Adriene for allowing me to appreciate the moment and not get pissed off at my family and their well-meant contributions. This is my life, for all it's absurdness and irreverence. These three might not be allowing me to be rooted in my breath but they root and ground me. Being present in that moment may not exactly be what Adrienne had in mind, but it filled my soul nonetheless.